After reading a fellow schoolmate's blog, i could not help but to feel a bit upset. She seemed to have adjusted to the life here. Being all so friendly with her roomates and gained confidence in facing the upcoming challenges and all.
For me, thing was not that smooth all time.. Although there were quite a number of my secondary school friends joined me here at kmpk, i still could feel the tinge of loneliness. Sometimes i just felt like i was annoying them. Somehow, i felt they prefer to be alone and with the others rather than me.. Often, i got felt out and abondoned. Walking and doing stuff alone had to be a pratice to me now.. There was no longer someone there for me all time.. everyone just care for themselves. I doubted if they ever cared if i died.
hmphh.. Actually, all of these did not matter much.. I was here for my family.. for my self.. Perhaps i might as well end up like them. It seemed that selfishness was a good thing here. Lonely and sad that i had to endure the rejection silently. It was so frustrating. I missed rachel and may.. the only two persons that i ever felt really safe and comfortable with.. I wanna go home.. Out from this place.. The place filled with selfishness, competitions.. I did not want to be used anymore.
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Sorry, i think it's my peculiar attitude that'd probably annoyed you.
ReplyDeletesometimes, i don't mix with people because i think that people don't really like me.
you make a better friend than i am so you're not alone at all.
somehow, i feel.. friends in this place are not the same kind of friends in old times. Hypocrisy keeps existing between friendship here. People just pretend to be kind with you if you got things to share.. Nothing really better than family.. There is no innocent love in a friendship. Friendship only last if two parties still need each other. how pathetic..
ReplyDeleteHaha....why are you feeling that way?
ReplyDeletethat is me.
Wow...now i get it. the problem is not on me, more people are feeling the same too.
T.T affected by you. You are greater than A H1N1 virus lo.. Now, i sometimes felt being alone is much better.. Dont know why, feeling more lonely in a crowd than really stay alone.
ReplyDeletehi...no time no chat dy la....how r u there ? i hope u would be able to adapt urself with the life over there...gd luck ya
ReplyDelete