I always thought death is inminent, everything is destined. God has had his own plan.. But.. Today might just be an ordinary day for others, just a typical friday.. But for me.. It was the worst friday ever.
i received a early call from mum, around 7am. In phone, she asked me to calm down, telling me that she got something important to tell me yet begging me not to be shocked with the news. Immediately, i could sense that something bad going to be told. I listened to her every word warily... Tears started to rolled down my cheeks unconsciously. I was dumb-founded and paralysed. How could this happen? Why now? Why when i was here? Away from him..
She said he died around 1am.. He started to breath heavily and then he was gone. Knowing that i was crying, she ordered me not to.. Telling me he passed away in a good condition. Almost no suffering at all. He seemed all normal.. In fact, in an unusually good appetite the night before that unforgetful event. I begged to go home, to see his for the last time before he turned into ashes of grey, but mum did not allow me too. She said they got a lot of thing to be done, organising funeral apparently was not an easy job. Yea.. I knew that too, i had an experience with my grandma's. However, i insisted.. And instead of allowing me to follow my heart, she told me that she did not want me to come back cause it will affect me, i would have to skip classes.. And at last she said, if grandpa was here, he would not like to see me missed classes for him too.
I processed her words. There are rasionale behind it too.. Even if i went there, there would nothing that i could do.. Perhaps, i would get more upset seeing his lifeless corpse.
The old memories flashed back as i rolled on the blanket, biting it, crying my lungs out.. I remembered.. We always went to places to together, With me sitting by his side in the car, he would just tell me about his old stories, and i would just pretend as if i was paying attention and kept nodding. Ha.. they were all old stories that were told again and again.. How many times can a person hearing the same stories and still could show interest in them? What i liked the most was the affection he expressed wordlessly, no one able to connect to my deepest soul like he did. He would cupped my hands and caressed it gently with his wrinkly palms. They were so thin, With prominent phalanges bone.. But then, they were the warmest hand i ever in connect with. The warmest and greatest feeling of all. With a single touch, i knew how much he loved me.. And in response of his touch, i would naturally put my head on his boney shoulder.. We would just sitting there, with his stories as the background song, expressing our family love wordlessly.. Like that, the journey seemed to shorten a lot.
I remembered.. He once asked me what i would like to be when i grow up?
I knew he always wanted me to become a teacher, He dreamt of me as the third generation to be an educator. But, i wasnt interested in teaching and i just bluffed an occupation out, claiming that i would like to become a doctor. To my amazement, he wasnt dissappointed, he smiled sweetly, assuring me that he knew one day i sure can become a good doctor. He said he was proud to have me as the first doctor in the family. He also said that he hoped that when i am a qualified doctor, I could treat his asthma. Being by his side whenever he needed medical aid. And then he expressed his worries.. he knew studying medicine was going to take years. He was scared that he wasnt able to see me graduated from medical school..
"Doctor? Others may not be able to be that, but.. you.. i know you can.. Theo job will suite you perfectly." These words of his were what driven me to keep going on until this day. He was the one who inspired me to become a doctor. He was the one who motivated me to keep holding on to the books when i wanted to give up. Now that he had gone.. I had lost my motivator. I wasnt in the mood to strive anyomore.. Why now? Why not a few years later.. You once said you wanted to see me graduated? Then, why do you leave me now? Why are you so forgetful? Do you know how much it hurts me? i am trying my best here to achieve our goals together.. but why do you have to leave so soon, leaving me alone on the site of war.. Alone in this combat, i did not know what to do already.. i am lost..
26 jun 09
5.27pm
Friday, June 26, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Daddy's word
i called dad today just to have a chat.. Unconsciously, he could sense that i was not quite happy.. and he tought i was still upset about failing Jpa.. Sigh.. little did he know..
He told me a lot about the advantages of matriculation, hoping that i would not regret my decision of coming here. Then, he said.. Luckily you did not get jpa.. Now that you were in gopeng.. Even just 5 hours from kelantan.. I missed you already.. If you were to go overseas.. I did not know how i gonna be..
At the moment, i was shocked.. to hear a strong and stern man like him to utter such sentimental words.. I was moved.. Dad.. I love you too.. Now, flashed back to old times.. Luckily i did not get jpa.. haha..
He told me a lot about the advantages of matriculation, hoping that i would not regret my decision of coming here. Then, he said.. Luckily you did not get jpa.. Now that you were in gopeng.. Even just 5 hours from kelantan.. I missed you already.. If you were to go overseas.. I did not know how i gonna be..
At the moment, i was shocked.. to hear a strong and stern man like him to utter such sentimental words.. I was moved.. Dad.. I love you too.. Now, flashed back to old times.. Luckily i did not get jpa.. haha..
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Movie Night
Posters of movie nights were scattered all around the college. Any corner or wall that had free spaces was pasted with A4 paper advertising them. The seniors came back here and held the movie nights. With mere entrance fee of rm1, we could watch the latest movie on billboard chart. What else? So, last night, with hui and ning by my side we rushed to watch hannah montana the movie. The movie was great as i expected. The plot was quite interesting and there were scenes that were so hilarious and the the howling laughter of the crowd was hurting our ears.. (>,< exaggerating a bit, perhaps..)
Wow, miley is so beautiful.. She is such a talented actress.. For a young girl like her to achieve such major and impressive success in hollywood, that really amazed me. She is around 16 and yet she had achieved so much.. But me.. i am older than her.. What i ever achieve? Nothing much really.. To say i had good grades? Well, that was absurd.. Scoring straight A in spm is nothing.. Like miley's song The Climb stated.. There would be another mountain to climb.. Spm is barely a mountain.. Spm just a piece of cake.. So, what else did i ever achieve.. Hmm.. basically i am back to square 1.. I got nothing to be proud of..
Watching the movie made me realised that i never climbed a mountain before. I ever really endured hardship. I never sacrificed thing.. I always took things for granted. So, who was i to complain about not achieving thing.. Why am i sighing and complaining when things go wrong when it was no one's fault other than myself. Well, the proverbs is accurate.. Nothing ventured, nothing gain..
Wow, miley is so beautiful.. She is such a talented actress.. For a young girl like her to achieve such major and impressive success in hollywood, that really amazed me. She is around 16 and yet she had achieved so much.. But me.. i am older than her.. What i ever achieve? Nothing much really.. To say i had good grades? Well, that was absurd.. Scoring straight A in spm is nothing.. Like miley's song The Climb stated.. There would be another mountain to climb.. Spm is barely a mountain.. Spm just a piece of cake.. So, what else did i ever achieve.. Hmm.. basically i am back to square 1.. I got nothing to be proud of..
Watching the movie made me realised that i never climbed a mountain before. I ever really endured hardship. I never sacrificed thing.. I always took things for granted. So, who was i to complain about not achieving thing.. Why am i sighing and complaining when things go wrong when it was no one's fault other than myself. Well, the proverbs is accurate.. Nothing ventured, nothing gain..
Friday, June 12, 2009
Adaptation? Not yet..
After reading a fellow schoolmate's blog, i could not help but to feel a bit upset. She seemed to have adjusted to the life here. Being all so friendly with her roomates and gained confidence in facing the upcoming challenges and all.
For me, thing was not that smooth all time.. Although there were quite a number of my secondary school friends joined me here at kmpk, i still could feel the tinge of loneliness. Sometimes i just felt like i was annoying them. Somehow, i felt they prefer to be alone and with the others rather than me.. Often, i got felt out and abondoned. Walking and doing stuff alone had to be a pratice to me now.. There was no longer someone there for me all time.. everyone just care for themselves. I doubted if they ever cared if i died.
hmphh.. Actually, all of these did not matter much.. I was here for my family.. for my self.. Perhaps i might as well end up like them. It seemed that selfishness was a good thing here. Lonely and sad that i had to endure the rejection silently. It was so frustrating. I missed rachel and may.. the only two persons that i ever felt really safe and comfortable with.. I wanna go home.. Out from this place.. The place filled with selfishness, competitions.. I did not want to be used anymore.
For me, thing was not that smooth all time.. Although there were quite a number of my secondary school friends joined me here at kmpk, i still could feel the tinge of loneliness. Sometimes i just felt like i was annoying them. Somehow, i felt they prefer to be alone and with the others rather than me.. Often, i got felt out and abondoned. Walking and doing stuff alone had to be a pratice to me now.. There was no longer someone there for me all time.. everyone just care for themselves. I doubted if they ever cared if i died.
hmphh.. Actually, all of these did not matter much.. I was here for my family.. for my self.. Perhaps i might as well end up like them. It seemed that selfishness was a good thing here. Lonely and sad that i had to endure the rejection silently. It was so frustrating. I missed rachel and may.. the only two persons that i ever felt really safe and comfortable with.. I wanna go home.. Out from this place.. The place filled with selfishness, competitions.. I did not want to be used anymore.
Pilihanraya JPP
Today, kmpk was having an election for the students' representatives. There were quite a number of students vounteered to be the candidates. Among them, there were a couple that i knew. One is my dear classmate while another is my KMM member. For sure, they will have my insignificant vote.
Honestly, i was quite impressed by all of them. NOt everyone has the courage to stand in front of the crowd and express their view and appeal the others to vote for them. I believed what they did were really admirable. They were willing to sacrifice their time and ready to rest the huge responsibilty of being a JPP on their shoulders. For all the candidates, work hard, strive for the best. Even if you cannot get it, believe that you are still the best because you had done your best.
Honestly, i was quite impressed by all of them. NOt everyone has the courage to stand in front of the crowd and express their view and appeal the others to vote for them. I believed what they did were really admirable. They were willing to sacrifice their time and ready to rest the huge responsibilty of being a JPP on their shoulders. For all the candidates, work hard, strive for the best. Even if you cannot get it, believe that you are still the best because you had done your best.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
kmpk continued
Today was just day 3 of my study week in kmpk.. Yet, it seemed like time had passed so fast. Unknowingly, i slowly getting used to the lifestyle here. So busy schedule.. Class from 8 till 5pm non stop. Had to run from a block to another every hour. It was quite physically and mentally demanding. I still could not control my drowsiness during lectures. Wonder how my life is now if i follow rachel and return to form 6..
In here, i had to wake around 6am. Queuing up in front of the co-bathrooms.. Waiting sleepily for my turn... After a long line, i had to stuff the tasteless breakfast into my unwilling mouth. Then, run to the first class as fast as i could to book a better seat. Then, run here and there every hour to another classes.. No break at all between classes. I even did not have time to go toilet.. gosh,, it was so hard to concentrate with full bladder. Lunch at 1pm for an hour. Lining up for the cashier already took a lot of time.. There was barely time to take a break.. Then rushed to another class again..
After 5pm, i had to flee back the dorm to wash my clothes and took the cold chilling freezing shower.. After all the exhaustion, i still could not rest.. there were still homework and notes.. Homework or notes had to be done by our own. We had to go library or internet to search information.. Sigh.. reference book did not do much help.. because there was almost no specific book for matriculation. We had to compile all the millions books sometimes just to search for ONE tiny information. No more guidence from teachers.. Wu.. i missed ms yeap, mr tien seng and mr kam meng wuu...
Dont really like maticulation. But i did not regret my decision of choosing to come here because this place taught me a lot. Now, i was more able to take care of myself, i was more independent and matured.. Hardships strengthen a person. well.. i guess it was true.. Once i was a talcum, now i am a brick..
In here, i had to wake around 6am. Queuing up in front of the co-bathrooms.. Waiting sleepily for my turn... After a long line, i had to stuff the tasteless breakfast into my unwilling mouth. Then, run to the first class as fast as i could to book a better seat. Then, run here and there every hour to another classes.. No break at all between classes. I even did not have time to go toilet.. gosh,, it was so hard to concentrate with full bladder. Lunch at 1pm for an hour. Lining up for the cashier already took a lot of time.. There was barely time to take a break.. Then rushed to another class again..
After 5pm, i had to flee back the dorm to wash my clothes and took the cold chilling freezing shower.. After all the exhaustion, i still could not rest.. there were still homework and notes.. Homework or notes had to be done by our own. We had to go library or internet to search information.. Sigh.. reference book did not do much help.. because there was almost no specific book for matriculation. We had to compile all the millions books sometimes just to search for ONE tiny information. No more guidence from teachers.. Wu.. i missed ms yeap, mr tien seng and mr kam meng wuu...
Dont really like maticulation. But i did not regret my decision of choosing to come here because this place taught me a lot. Now, i was more able to take care of myself, i was more independent and matured.. Hardships strengthen a person. well.. i guess it was true.. Once i was a talcum, now i am a brick..
Friday, May 15, 2009
KMPk
Gosh, when i stepped my foot on matriculation centre, i was immediately led to the hall to carry out all the registration process alone without mum and dad. They always helped me that sort of formal thing. Honestly, it was a bit intimidating for ME.
After registration, mum and dad helped to carry things up to my room. I was staying in P1, floor 1, room 4. Well.. we brought quite a lot of thing so we had to go up and down the stairs for quite a few times. After taking photo for matric card, my parents departed, leaving me there-scared and helpless. Then, a shocking awakening...
They gave me sains fizikal instead of sains hayat. I started to get worried because i was the only one who got that. Hui them all got the course that they wanted. I was wondering whether i could change the course but most ajkos were not helpful and convincing when they hushed me up and told me that "do not worry"
I called my parents to tell them, they were worried too. They asked me whether i needed them to come over. As much as i wanted them to be with me at that moment, i told them no.. because on the next day was working day.. I could not possibly request them to stay any longer, as the later they departed, the more tired they would get in the morning.
The programmes for orientation week started at 5pm.. T.T ceramah... and continued until 11,30pm.. Gosh.. that day i only had a bread for lunch.. no time to enjoy the pleasure of food at all. Fate seemed to be interested in playing game with me.. My baju kurung which was bought a few weeks earlier get torn.. After that tiring day, i had to fix the clothes first time with my poor sewing skill at the expense of my sleeping hours. At that time, i suddenly realised i was on my own. There was no longer mum at my service. I did not tell her about the clothes that night, cause i knew she would get worried and i would cry if i heard her voice that was thick with concern.
The next day even worst. I had to wake up at 4am to wash clothes.. senaman pagi, ceramah and all.. wu wu.. end around 11.30pm.. My bed time was 12 something and yet i had to wake at 4am.. Gosh, the level of the fatigue was unimaginable.. I could sleep while doing senaman.. Muahahaha.. nearly fainted.. Then, we all were assigned to Kmm.. Kumpulan Mentor Mantee. Mentor was the lecturer while we the students were mentees. The mentor acted the role of our parent. They would assist us if we got any problem- financial, academic, health, love anything! you just had to name it.
Mine was miss roszilla. She was quite good.. Everything was so good so far.. To increase koku marks, i volunteered myself as kmm treasurer.. Guessed what? I thought i just brought myself more trouble. Tiring schedule continued..
After registration, mum and dad helped to carry things up to my room. I was staying in P1, floor 1, room 4. Well.. we brought quite a lot of thing so we had to go up and down the stairs for quite a few times. After taking photo for matric card, my parents departed, leaving me there-scared and helpless. Then, a shocking awakening...
They gave me sains fizikal instead of sains hayat. I started to get worried because i was the only one who got that. Hui them all got the course that they wanted. I was wondering whether i could change the course but most ajkos were not helpful and convincing when they hushed me up and told me that "do not worry"
I called my parents to tell them, they were worried too. They asked me whether i needed them to come over. As much as i wanted them to be with me at that moment, i told them no.. because on the next day was working day.. I could not possibly request them to stay any longer, as the later they departed, the more tired they would get in the morning.
The programmes for orientation week started at 5pm.. T.T ceramah... and continued until 11,30pm.. Gosh.. that day i only had a bread for lunch.. no time to enjoy the pleasure of food at all. Fate seemed to be interested in playing game with me.. My baju kurung which was bought a few weeks earlier get torn.. After that tiring day, i had to fix the clothes first time with my poor sewing skill at the expense of my sleeping hours. At that time, i suddenly realised i was on my own. There was no longer mum at my service. I did not tell her about the clothes that night, cause i knew she would get worried and i would cry if i heard her voice that was thick with concern.
The next day even worst. I had to wake up at 4am to wash clothes.. senaman pagi, ceramah and all.. wu wu.. end around 11.30pm.. My bed time was 12 something and yet i had to wake at 4am.. Gosh, the level of the fatigue was unimaginable.. I could sleep while doing senaman.. Muahahaha.. nearly fainted.. Then, we all were assigned to Kmm.. Kumpulan Mentor Mantee. Mentor was the lecturer while we the students were mentees. The mentor acted the role of our parent. They would assist us if we got any problem- financial, academic, health, love anything! you just had to name it.
Mine was miss roszilla. She was quite good.. Everything was so good so far.. To increase koku marks, i volunteered myself as kmm treasurer.. Guessed what? I thought i just brought myself more trouble. Tiring schedule continued..
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Kellie's Castle
The history behind Kellies Castle was unknown to me before.. Since tomorrow i will be going to matriculation college, my dad took me to visit this historical place. Wow. the building was trully a miracle.. The architectual details were so fine and classy. But since i was not good with history thingy, i copied its history from wikipedia..
William Kellie Smith was from a village in Scotland known as Kellas. In 1890, at the age of 20, he arrived in the then undeveloped Malaya. Here, he met an estate owner called Alma Baker, who had won concessions from the state government to clear 360 hectares of forests in Perak. With the substantial profits made from his business venture with Alma Baker, Smith started planting rubber trees and dabbled in the tin mining industry. In time, he became the owner of Kinta Kellas Estate and the Kinta Kellas Tin Dredging Company.
Now with his fortune made, he returned home to marry his Scottish sweetheart, Agnes, and brought her over to Malaysia in 1903. The following year, the couple was blessed with a daughter whom they named Helen. For many years after that, Agnes tried to conceive, but to no avail. William Smith desperately wanted a son and heir to take over his empire in the Malay Isles. After many years, Agnes finally gave birth to a son, Anthony, in 1915. The birth of his child was the start of even greater success for William Smith. To celebrate Anthony's birth, William Smith decided to expand on his mansion. Smith started planning for a huge castle which he planned to call Kellas House, after his hometown in Scotland
Unfortunately for Smith, tragedies struck soon after the construction of the Kellas House began. A virulent strain of the Spanish flu spread from Europe to Asia soon after World War I ended in Europe, killing many of the workers in the Kellas Estate. Another seventy workers constructing Smith's dream castle also became victims of the flu. Smith, who had already spent a fortune on his house, lost a lot of money because of this.
In the end, Kellas House, later known as Kellie's Castle or even Kellie's Folly to some, was never completed. William Kellie Smith himself died of pneumonia during a short trip to Portugal in 1926. His heartbroken wife decided to pack up and return home to Scotland selling the estate and Kellie's Castle to a British company called Harrisons and Crosfield
So, the castle was left unfinished. But, still it was so beautifully made. Besides, today i saw a couple got married there. How romantic when the groom kissed the bride passionately. Hope they will have a happy married life.
Kellies' Castle
The bear tree.. It looks like a bear is on the bear. Amazing, right?
The bricks were more than 200 years old. So ancient and yet so beautiful..
The legend said william's soul still wandering at night along this corridor. Creepy? Ghastly? Terrifying? Yet.. So magnificent legend..
William Kellie Smith was from a village in Scotland known as Kellas. In 1890, at the age of 20, he arrived in the then undeveloped Malaya. Here, he met an estate owner called Alma Baker, who had won concessions from the state government to clear 360 hectares of forests in Perak. With the substantial profits made from his business venture with Alma Baker, Smith started planting rubber trees and dabbled in the tin mining industry. In time, he became the owner of Kinta Kellas Estate and the Kinta Kellas Tin Dredging Company.
Now with his fortune made, he returned home to marry his Scottish sweetheart, Agnes, and brought her over to Malaysia in 1903. The following year, the couple was blessed with a daughter whom they named Helen. For many years after that, Agnes tried to conceive, but to no avail. William Smith desperately wanted a son and heir to take over his empire in the Malay Isles. After many years, Agnes finally gave birth to a son, Anthony, in 1915. The birth of his child was the start of even greater success for William Smith. To celebrate Anthony's birth, William Smith decided to expand on his mansion. Smith started planning for a huge castle which he planned to call Kellas House, after his hometown in Scotland
Unfortunately for Smith, tragedies struck soon after the construction of the Kellas House began. A virulent strain of the Spanish flu spread from Europe to Asia soon after World War I ended in Europe, killing many of the workers in the Kellas Estate. Another seventy workers constructing Smith's dream castle also became victims of the flu. Smith, who had already spent a fortune on his house, lost a lot of money because of this.
In the end, Kellas House, later known as Kellie's Castle or even Kellie's Folly to some, was never completed. William Kellie Smith himself died of pneumonia during a short trip to Portugal in 1926. His heartbroken wife decided to pack up and return home to Scotland selling the estate and Kellie's Castle to a British company called Harrisons and Crosfield
So, the castle was left unfinished. But, still it was so beautifully made. Besides, today i saw a couple got married there. How romantic when the groom kissed the bride passionately. Hope they will have a happy married life.
Kellies' Castle
The bear tree.. It looks like a bear is on the bear. Amazing, right?
The bricks were more than 200 years old. So ancient and yet so beautiful..
The legend said william's soul still wandering at night along this corridor. Creepy? Ghastly? Terrifying? Yet.. So magnificent legend.. Cameron Highlands
We departed at 7am to perak.Because today was mother's day. We took a trip to cameron. It was quite a fun trip if without the winding road and the nausea. Although me and mum felt off colour and dizzy, we still enjoyed every moment of it.
Strawberry~ love love^^
It looks a whole lot like lavender but is it? i am not sure..
This is the first time i see grapes on their vine. Amazing..
They look like jug. My dad says the birds drink the water collected in the plants' sac.. =.= somehow i am not convinced
Orchids!! But they look like purple bugs..
Roses!!! So beautiful! waiting for prince charming to pluck them for me.. Sigh.. 1st mission, find prince charming!
my mum says it looks like butterfly.. but i think it looks more like an orange dress. So.. what do u think?
uh!! i thought they look like starfishes! pretty..
colourful floras~
Strawberry~ love love^^
It looks a whole lot like lavender but is it? i am not sure..
This is the first time i see grapes on their vine. Amazing..
They look like jug. My dad says the birds drink the water collected in the plants' sac.. =.= somehow i am not convinced
Orchids!! But they look like purple bugs..
Roses!!! So beautiful! waiting for prince charming to pluck them for me.. Sigh.. 1st mission, find prince charming!
my mum says it looks like butterfly.. but i think it looks more like an orange dress. So.. what do u think?
uh!! i thought they look like starfishes! pretty..
colourful floras~
see! see! the little pineapple is growing on its leaves. So cool! so cute!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Pawn captured
Yesterday, I woke up so early to pray for my late grandpa's sister. It was her death anniversary- Just one day before wesak day. And ironically, my late grandma who share the same name-kim hong, died on the day after wesak day. Because i would be going to matriculation soon by sunday, i would not have to chance to pray during my grandma's death anniversary. So, i was begging for her forgiveness.. How unfilial am I to miss such a day.. But, it was not my choice, I had to go matriculation.. Since i had lost a pawn, since i had failed to get JPA scholarship.
"STATUS:TIDAK BERJAYA" i was shocked to see the words which appeared so brightly on my laptop screen. Uhh, i thought i made it, i thought i did quite well. Waah~ what was happening? Why not me? Did the panels hated me? Where did i go wrong? Was i not the one who deserved such prestigious scholarship? That were among a few questions that were running through mind repeatedly when i was staring at the screen. Slowly, form shocked to stunned and stupefied, i started to feel the dissappointment and pain. Bloody hell.. (>.<)
"STATUS:TIDAK BERJAYA" i was shocked to see the words which appeared so brightly on my laptop screen. Uhh, i thought i made it, i thought i did quite well. Waah~ what was happening? Why not me? Did the panels hated me? Where did i go wrong? Was i not the one who deserved such prestigious scholarship? That were among a few questions that were running through mind repeatedly when i was staring at the screen. Slowly, form shocked to stunned and stupefied, i started to feel the dissappointment and pain. Bloody hell.. (>.<)
A few of my friends started bugging me, asking me whether i got or not.. =.= me who was in such depressing mood was more than slightly annoyed by the overwhelming questions. Most of them expected me to get it. It hurted a lot when i had to explain to them i did not, and it even hurt when they asked me to tell who got it. Slowly, i realised quite a number of my friends failed to get it too. So, instead of dwelling in my dissappointment, i overcame it. Peculiarly, i was not sad at all after 30 min of knowing JPA was not destined to be mine. Therefore, i spent hours on msn trying to convey my friends to the optimistic side. Well, all of this was destined. Fate, when is yours is yours. When it is not yours is not yours.
I trully believed that everything did happened for a reason. Yes, it was a shame that i did not get jpa but there must be a reason for it. Maybe i was not suitable for it, or maybe there were someone who needed it more than i do. All in all, i came to a perfect and flawless conclusion.- "Destiny is trully an unpredictable game". But, friends of mine, let not worry, a pawn being captured does not mean the end. It is a sacrifice to the path of victory!! Let's go! Come on.. move on..this is not the end yet. We still have other pawns, bishops, castles etc and last but not least, the king still survives. Dont we dare to give up! It would not be checkmate until the day where the grim reaper pays us visit.
PS: for the friends for got JPA, gambateh!!! Try hard, study your best. It was once in a lifetime oppurtunity, go for it. Appreciate it because it was someone's sacrifices to bless you! Go for it, do your best and never say die!!! Esp: for cheee wayne, wei nee , lam ghai and khing!! You all are my good friends. Everytime when you want to give up, must remember what i had written today. If you fail, try and try and try again. If you try and try and try and still do not succeed, then......................
CHEAT(^.^)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
TOMORROW~
waah~~~ i was so excited!!! JPA result released tomorrow!! Arghh!!! Tonight would be a sleepless night.. 3pm~ why so late~
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Desire vs decision
This was the title for one of my good friends' blog. He was stuck between his desire and what he had to decide for the sake of his family.
His desire was to continue his tertiary education straight away after spm but with the twist of fate, he was out of luck because he failed to get matriculation scholarship. Dissappointed as he was, he knew there was no choice but to go private college or to back to form 6. Of course , it would be a whole lot expensive if he wanted to choose the first option. His father as a contractor willing to support the pocket-burning tuition fees, but he knew if he let his father to do so, his younger sister would take the toll. To pay for his fees, for sure will sacrifice his sister's education fund. He was in guilt. On one hand, he despised form 6 but on the other hand he was not selfish enough to be the burden of the family. Struggling with his desire and what the honourable thing to do, he was in dilemma. I could sense that..
His dad perhaps too could detect that his passion was not at form 6 tat all. His dad suggested monash university for him as he wanted to take chemical engineering. Even though he knew this was exactly what he desired for, he could not just accept it. He turned it down. Instead, he pretended with the wound in his heart, that he loved to return to form 6.
For his family's sake, this young guy willing to sacrifice his dream and desire. He had made a decision that the reality was form 6 was the better path for his family. Compared to him, my worry of being apart from my family was totally insignificant. He had made a noble decision. Desire vs decision? Dream vs reality. Desire and dream were totally lose the battle in the reality of his decision. But, I knew.. he would not grieve over it. He had been a strong guy. He had become a man.. a trully gentleman. Go for it! Study form 6 with all your heart! i know you can do it! Add oil o^^
His desire was to continue his tertiary education straight away after spm but with the twist of fate, he was out of luck because he failed to get matriculation scholarship. Dissappointed as he was, he knew there was no choice but to go private college or to back to form 6. Of course , it would be a whole lot expensive if he wanted to choose the first option. His father as a contractor willing to support the pocket-burning tuition fees, but he knew if he let his father to do so, his younger sister would take the toll. To pay for his fees, for sure will sacrifice his sister's education fund. He was in guilt. On one hand, he despised form 6 but on the other hand he was not selfish enough to be the burden of the family. Struggling with his desire and what the honourable thing to do, he was in dilemma. I could sense that..
His dad perhaps too could detect that his passion was not at form 6 tat all. His dad suggested monash university for him as he wanted to take chemical engineering. Even though he knew this was exactly what he desired for, he could not just accept it. He turned it down. Instead, he pretended with the wound in his heart, that he loved to return to form 6.
For his family's sake, this young guy willing to sacrifice his dream and desire. He had made a decision that the reality was form 6 was the better path for his family. Compared to him, my worry of being apart from my family was totally insignificant. He had made a noble decision. Desire vs decision? Dream vs reality. Desire and dream were totally lose the battle in the reality of his decision. But, I knew.. he would not grieve over it. He had been a strong guy. He had become a man.. a trully gentleman. Go for it! Study form 6 with all your heart! i know you can do it! Add oil o^^
young-adulthood
When i was so preoccupied with pet society, steven's nudge on msn startled me. He asked me whether i had finished my preparation for the upcoming journey to perak matriculation college. I was a bit uncomfortable with the question because the truth was i had not. I did not pack even a single thing. My parents bought almost all the things that i should bring there. But.. i was not in the mood for packing at all. The fact was that, i was afraid to pack..
Because i knew when i was packing i would feel the sadness and the unwillingness to be apart from my dearest family. I did not want to face the reality yet. I was not ready to experience to tough responsibilty of the young adult yet. i still wanted to dwell in my sweet dream of being a mama's kid. I wanted to be fended and protected. The shield that my parents provided all this tine was undescribably divine. It was a gift from the heaven, god had loved me so much to granted me such wondeful parents. But somehow, i knew.. ready or not, I must be strong, i had to learn to be more independant, matured and like what steven said, "grow up!"
A chat with him made me realised that the reality of me going away hurted my parents more than it agonized me. They had been so used to love me unconditionally. They had been helping me all this times, nursing me and doing everything that i had taken for granted. They provided me mental, emotional as well as physical security. I had been their priority for all the time. They must be worried sick that i might not be able to take care of myself. So, if i trully love them, i should not behave in such childish way. In the mere 5 minutes conversation, i found the true meaning of maturity.
Instead of lingering in my own little girl's fairy tale, i should be able to let go. I should embrace the fact that i am growing up. I would have to be a young adult who leave my family for their sake. If i refused to accept the fact that i was on the way to adulthood, i knew it would be harder for my parents. No daddy wanted to see his daughter became a woman and no mummy wanted to see her daughter moved out. But, they helped me bought all the necessity and fill the document. They had done all the thing for my future even though it would certainly hurt them to see me separated from them. So, as a young adult, what should i do?
All this time, they raised me to become a better human that could serve the society so that was exactly what i was going to do. I would grow up. I would wipe all these childish tears of reluctance away. I would be strong. I would start packing my stuff and depart to the challenging path of adulthood. Now, i understood all already. When i looked into the mirror, i would no longer see the vulnerable and fragile wei nie. Now, i would see a young and beautiful wei nie who could face every hardship in life with unwavered confidence.
Thanks, mum.. thanks, dad.. for making me what i am today.
And thanks, steven! for your inspiring advices.
Because i knew when i was packing i would feel the sadness and the unwillingness to be apart from my dearest family. I did not want to face the reality yet. I was not ready to experience to tough responsibilty of the young adult yet. i still wanted to dwell in my sweet dream of being a mama's kid. I wanted to be fended and protected. The shield that my parents provided all this tine was undescribably divine. It was a gift from the heaven, god had loved me so much to granted me such wondeful parents. But somehow, i knew.. ready or not, I must be strong, i had to learn to be more independant, matured and like what steven said, "grow up!"
A chat with him made me realised that the reality of me going away hurted my parents more than it agonized me. They had been so used to love me unconditionally. They had been helping me all this times, nursing me and doing everything that i had taken for granted. They provided me mental, emotional as well as physical security. I had been their priority for all the time. They must be worried sick that i might not be able to take care of myself. So, if i trully love them, i should not behave in such childish way. In the mere 5 minutes conversation, i found the true meaning of maturity.
Instead of lingering in my own little girl's fairy tale, i should be able to let go. I should embrace the fact that i am growing up. I would have to be a young adult who leave my family for their sake. If i refused to accept the fact that i was on the way to adulthood, i knew it would be harder for my parents. No daddy wanted to see his daughter became a woman and no mummy wanted to see her daughter moved out. But, they helped me bought all the necessity and fill the document. They had done all the thing for my future even though it would certainly hurt them to see me separated from them. So, as a young adult, what should i do?
All this time, they raised me to become a better human that could serve the society so that was exactly what i was going to do. I would grow up. I would wipe all these childish tears of reluctance away. I would be strong. I would start packing my stuff and depart to the challenging path of adulthood. Now, i understood all already. When i looked into the mirror, i would no longer see the vulnerable and fragile wei nie. Now, i would see a young and beautiful wei nie who could face every hardship in life with unwavered confidence.
Thanks, mum.. thanks, dad.. for making me what i am today.
And thanks, steven! for your inspiring advices.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Sorry
After my dad returned from school, we took milo to the vet clinic. We had discussed over this matter for a few weeks and i started to see eyes to eyes with my dad- we decided to take milo to vet to inject her some kind of hormone to make her infertile for 3 months. I would have to leave for matriculation soon, of course my family would take me there. There was no one to take care of her, so we would take her to my realative's house perhaps. They had a lot of cats there, males and females. I was quite worried that she might get pregnat so I accepted my dad's suggestion without further argument.
With milo on my lap, my dad drove us to Tumpat Vet Clinic. She seemed a little bit confused and alarmed in the car as we hardly take her else where, she had always been an indoor cat. With me petting her, she seemed a little bit relax but she could not stop from peeking through the window from time to time to see the outdoor environment. When we arrived there, i put her down from my arms. The veterinarian was busy treating another cat- total black. The vet said the cat was illness had reached a critical stage. So, he gave the cat 2 injections and some white powder to consumed. But, because the cat could hardly eat or walk, he doubted if it could survive any longer.
After the black cat's owner took it home, it was milo's turn. We asked the vet about the infertility injection, he told us that she would be infertile for 3 months but it would affect her lust. In other word, she would still attract male cat and carry out intercourse but she would not be fertile enough for the embryo to take form. I felt a bit worried after listening to the vet's talk, i was afraid that my young and innocent milo would be cheated by "scornful males"..
Then, he took out a stringe and asked us to hold her legs. At first, i was supposed to hold the fore limbs but she kept struggling and escaped from my insecured grip. She was meowing in fear, i was shocked, she was panicked that she even wanted to bite me. At that moment, i just wanted to release her and give up on the idea of injection. But my dad stopped me by switching places, I was in charge of the hind limbs. Milo was struggling so hard not because of the needle.. But.. she was never been forced to stay put. When we was holding her limbs, she was startled. Automatically, her reflex action wanted to be freed. As she was meowing in pain with our tight grip, involuntarily tears began to form in my eyes. I felt so bad for agreeing with this decision. She was scared, terrified. I never intended for this to happen. Then, when i was holding my tears with effort, the fine needle pierced through her thick fur swiftly. Within seconds, the needle was out and we let go our grips. She jumped up immediately, looking stunned and horrified. She was on Defense mode, wanted to bite my dad's palm. But, after we all caressed and called her name a few times, she became better.
My dad paid the vet rm15 and we headed home. In car, she was sitting on my lap, unmoved. She must be paralysed by the shock. I felt really guilty with the shock and pain she had to go through that tears could not stop from rolling down my cheeks. I made an agreement with my dad today. No more things like that for her. I looked at her eyes, the pupils was a thin black slit( she was still alarmed, scared and prepared to fight back anytime) I held her tightly in my arms, kissed her a few times, rubbing her softly. With her starting to calm down and return to normal self.. i still could not find another words to utter besides, "milo, i'm so sorry"
With milo on my lap, my dad drove us to Tumpat Vet Clinic. She seemed a little bit confused and alarmed in the car as we hardly take her else where, she had always been an indoor cat. With me petting her, she seemed a little bit relax but she could not stop from peeking through the window from time to time to see the outdoor environment. When we arrived there, i put her down from my arms. The veterinarian was busy treating another cat- total black. The vet said the cat was illness had reached a critical stage. So, he gave the cat 2 injections and some white powder to consumed. But, because the cat could hardly eat or walk, he doubted if it could survive any longer.
After the black cat's owner took it home, it was milo's turn. We asked the vet about the infertility injection, he told us that she would be infertile for 3 months but it would affect her lust. In other word, she would still attract male cat and carry out intercourse but she would not be fertile enough for the embryo to take form. I felt a bit worried after listening to the vet's talk, i was afraid that my young and innocent milo would be cheated by "scornful males"..
Then, he took out a stringe and asked us to hold her legs. At first, i was supposed to hold the fore limbs but she kept struggling and escaped from my insecured grip. She was meowing in fear, i was shocked, she was panicked that she even wanted to bite me. At that moment, i just wanted to release her and give up on the idea of injection. But my dad stopped me by switching places, I was in charge of the hind limbs. Milo was struggling so hard not because of the needle.. But.. she was never been forced to stay put. When we was holding her limbs, she was startled. Automatically, her reflex action wanted to be freed. As she was meowing in pain with our tight grip, involuntarily tears began to form in my eyes. I felt so bad for agreeing with this decision. She was scared, terrified. I never intended for this to happen. Then, when i was holding my tears with effort, the fine needle pierced through her thick fur swiftly. Within seconds, the needle was out and we let go our grips. She jumped up immediately, looking stunned and horrified. She was on Defense mode, wanted to bite my dad's palm. But, after we all caressed and called her name a few times, she became better.
My dad paid the vet rm15 and we headed home. In car, she was sitting on my lap, unmoved. She must be paralysed by the shock. I felt really guilty with the shock and pain she had to go through that tears could not stop from rolling down my cheeks. I made an agreement with my dad today. No more things like that for her. I looked at her eyes, the pupils was a thin black slit( she was still alarmed, scared and prepared to fight back anytime) I held her tightly in my arms, kissed her a few times, rubbing her softly. With her starting to calm down and return to normal self.. i still could not find another words to utter besides, "milo, i'm so sorry"
Saturday, May 2, 2009
A withdrawal
Rac woke me up yesterday morning by asking me things about matriculation. We discussed about the lifestyle there, how we might require to study all days and nights. After hearing the tiring schedule, she seemed to lost interest about matriculation. She told me that she rather chose form 6 than matric.
Hmm.. what an irony. For the people who fail to get it, they really wanted it and kept trying to appeal. But, for people to have it, they seemed not to appreciate the golden opportunity. I knew it would be wrong for me to judge her decision because for her to take such drastical action to withdraw from the scholarship, she must had her reasonable excuse(s). But, i could help from feeling a bit dissappointed. She was my best friend, the one who always with me to overcome various challenges in secondary school life. She was selfless and always lent me a helping hand without stopping a second for hesitation. Therefore, i really hoped she did not choose the wrong path and regret it later. For me, matriculation would be a whole lot better than form 6. haha.. not to say i had prejudice for form 6. But really.. honestly.. form 6.. did not sound appealing at all. well, at least to me.
A part of me felt sad because i would be separated with her if she chose this path. Rachel, i knew i was selfish.. but i really hoped we would not separated. You always had been with me all the time. It would be really hard for me not to rely on you anymore.. Rac. whatever u decided, of course i would give you full support just like you always backed me up. Rac! Gambateh! Let us fight for our future together. If you really determine to take stpm, go for it. I know you can do it and you know that better than anyone else. Just be more confident, k?
Hmm.. what an irony. For the people who fail to get it, they really wanted it and kept trying to appeal. But, for people to have it, they seemed not to appreciate the golden opportunity. I knew it would be wrong for me to judge her decision because for her to take such drastical action to withdraw from the scholarship, she must had her reasonable excuse(s). But, i could help from feeling a bit dissappointed. She was my best friend, the one who always with me to overcome various challenges in secondary school life. She was selfless and always lent me a helping hand without stopping a second for hesitation. Therefore, i really hoped she did not choose the wrong path and regret it later. For me, matriculation would be a whole lot better than form 6. haha.. not to say i had prejudice for form 6. But really.. honestly.. form 6.. did not sound appealing at all. well, at least to me.
A part of me felt sad because i would be separated with her if she chose this path. Rachel, i knew i was selfish.. but i really hoped we would not separated. You always had been with me all the time. It would be really hard for me not to rely on you anymore.. Rac. whatever u decided, of course i would give you full support just like you always backed me up. Rac! Gambateh! Let us fight for our future together. If you really determine to take stpm, go for it. I know you can do it and you know that better than anyone else. Just be more confident, k?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
a poor kitten
a poor kitten it was,
abondoned by its owner,
betrayed by a friend,
of the heart cold as ice;
as rains chilled the wall,
it awake as a meer loner,
discovered the need to fend,
the fate that just like a dice.
This poem was dedicated to a poor kitten which was abandoned by its owner in the bush near my house. The cold rain seemed to pour down mercilessly. Hopefully it could survive the freezing night.
abondoned by its owner,
betrayed by a friend,
of the heart cold as ice;
as rains chilled the wall,
it awake as a meer loner,
discovered the need to fend,
the fate that just like a dice.
This poem was dedicated to a poor kitten which was abandoned by its owner in the bush near my house. The cold rain seemed to pour down mercilessly. Hopefully it could survive the freezing night.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
BiG Milo~
serious looks from me and milo~
milo trying to grab the camera. lolz..
Yo! how fast she grows~ Chubby Milo~
my mum would kill me if she knows i let milo lie on the laptop. muahahaha.. keep it a secret, k?
Little milo~
when she was around 3 month old. (1/12)
When i brought her home when she was about a month old.(her birthday is 10/10/09.) She was around 500g only then.. Muhahaha.. now she was about 3.6kg. God. in only 6 months~~~
Saturday, April 25, 2009
First Love
I started this blog because i always lose my diaries. After a few months of writing, i tend to lose it. So, i change to a new diary. This kind of situation keeps reoccuring so i come up with this idea- writing a blog~ A blog~ a link of internet, surely i will not lose it and have to spend money buying beautiful cover books again.
As it was my diary, the experiences of my life should be written out vividly and truthfully as what was in my memory. So, it would not be completed without one of the most important parts of my life- my first real love relationship. This article was just written based on my memory. I was not mean to offend or find fault with anyone. If anybody was irritated by this article, i could not help but to express my sincere apology.
After waiting hopelessly for a guy that never like me, i just decided to give up on guys for good. For the first time, i knew i needed to focus on my education and SPM. I was form 5 at that time, at the peak of swinging hormone.. =.= so i guessed my hormone got the best of me.. I was still attracted to guys despite of what my brain told me.
He was my classmate and in my physics lab group since form 4.. We never talked much though. In fact, i doubted if we ever chat in form 4. Thing started to get warm when he around during the 2nd year. He who usually quiet and shy, suddenly bloomed into a charismatic and flirty guy. He started to join in our group of girls, craking jokes and flirting. At first, nothing was special. We all knew he was madly in love with one of the girls in our class- she was the most beautiful girl around. It was an open secret, even the girl was aware of it. So, we all just took his flirting as a joke. He was our friend who just wanted to have fun around a bunch of girls.
Then, i wasnt aware what was changing the atmosphere. I guessed he too, did not know when we started to have feeling for each other. How to put this straight? Well.. let just say, love stroke when you least expected. For me, i thought the beginning of all this was when he accidnetally hurted me feeling by mentioning my vulnerable past once, we started to have a serious talk and since then i never looked at him the same way before because unexpectedly, he was a sensitive guy who was quite good in comforting my feeling.
After a couple of weeks of the incident at 27th july, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Apparently, i thought we were coming on too fast but my curiosity grabbed the better part of me. I decided to have it a go. I agreed because he was the type of guy i knew will not cheat or play my feeling. However, he requested that we kept our relationship in secret. Whenever i asked why or protested, he would give all sort of weird reasons- like his friends would tease him and that sort. I could help but feel a slight depressed. Was i not good enough for him? Why was he embarassed to admit that i was his girlfriend? Or was he afraid to announce our realtionship because he still had hope of the other girl and i was just a spare? Hurtful but i convinced myself to trust him, lying to myself days to days, telling myself that he must have a good reason for it.
I told my parents about the relationship after a week because i did not want to lie to the ones i loved. I was taking the relationship seriously. But, somehow i was not convinced he did the same. He remained secretive about it. Again, i was upset that he did not inform his parents about us. I was not sure if he was taking it serioudly as i do.
We were too young for dating, i guessed. So, most of the time, we just flirted around with messages. At school, we seemed like best friends. By the end of the year, i told a few of my friends about the relationship and he told no one.. Days by days, insecurity started to accumulate. On our graduation day, a friend just announced our relationship in front of the class.. i observed his every expression when he heard the announcement, there was a sweet smile carved, but whether it was the sign of courtesy or approval, i did not know.
We went to KL trip together. It was really fun having him around. He gave me a huge teddy bear that he won in genting highland. Then, in sunway lagoon, when i was dizzy =.= ( thanks to the pirate swing and the rotating cups), he was there for me. He missed out a lot of fun by accompanied me, Sitting on the wooden bench. He had a small chat with me and rubbed my back, helping me to recover from the dizziness and nausea.. We was conned in kl too into buying some sort of amulet and we had quite a quarrel about it. He wanted to go and face the conman, but i refuse to let him do so. It was too dangerous and we were in foreign place. It was christmas that night that we made up. He bought us a pair of rings which apparently too big for both of us and i bought him a box of chocolated cookies. I returned from KL with some of my friends first with train and he remained there for a few days.
Around the 6th month together, a lot of problems arose. He seemed to get jealous whenever i was with other guys. I started to feel like he was choking me.. The was lack of trust. The train incident was the one that hurt me most. Was i the type of girl for him? How insulting.. Then, there was the lack of chemistry. He knew deeply that i wanted to be a doctor but he kept telling me that the occupation had no future, there was too many doctors in malaysia, the salary wasnt high enough, etc.. honestly, i did not understand him, he supposed knew me better that i would not mind the not-so lucrative salary and tiring work hours, he should knew that being a doctor was my biggest dream. Instead of encouraging me, he was actually looked down the noble job. Argument almost became our daily routine. Obviously, there was lack of chemistry and trust between us. So..
I guessed that was it. That was the beginning and ending of my first love. The six months i spent with him was memorable one. There was ups and downs. But i never regretted it. If i was given another chance to choose who i wanted to be my first love. i would still choose him for he was trully a great guy.. Thanks, jie~ thanks for everything... But i guessed our serendipity ended short. I hoped you would find a better girl that was special to you. Good luck in everything!! I would always love you even if i was not in love with you. Gambateh!! You will always have me as your best buddy^^
Dont push me away
I woke up at 5.30 am to have breakfast when mum and dad today. After both of them went to school, I turned to my laptop to watch goong(princess hours) on you-tube. In an episode, Yul confides his feeling to Cheagyung. She said harsh things to break his heart, wishing that he could change his love towards her. She also tells him to give up, because she cant accept him..
But, Yul tells her that he never asks her to accept him. He doesnt want anything in return for all that he has done for her. He just asks her not to push him away. He wants him to stay where she is and he will wait. Just not push him away, just be like she is before then he will not get hurt. Gee.. honestly, i dont understand how he feels. If it was me, i would prefer to settle thing once and for all. If the guy doesnt like me, why even bother?
For me, an unreturned love is so painful to bear. I remember my crush for mike.. aiz.. 9 years i like him. waiting hopefully~ the feeling of liking someone who is ignorant of your feeling is so freaking hard. Terrible and miserable, in fact. I just hope he can tell me right away that i should give up. At that period of time, i just wish that he can push me away because i know i myself cannot do so willingly. When he tells me not to wait anymore, you cannot really imagine how i feel. Peculiarly, the sense of relief overwhelm the sadness.
Pushing me away at that instant, remove all the pain. Aiz.. Yul.. i really dont get it. Isnt it better for you, that she pushes you away. Why do you want to give yourself a false hope, a fake sense of security. Why dragging thing is better for some people? i really do not understand. By dragging thing, the individuals involved will only get more injured. A relationship is not supposed to be a burden to both party.
But, Yul tells her that he never asks her to accept him. He doesnt want anything in return for all that he has done for her. He just asks her not to push him away. He wants him to stay where she is and he will wait. Just not push him away, just be like she is before then he will not get hurt. Gee.. honestly, i dont understand how he feels. If it was me, i would prefer to settle thing once and for all. If the guy doesnt like me, why even bother?
For me, an unreturned love is so painful to bear. I remember my crush for mike.. aiz.. 9 years i like him. waiting hopefully~ the feeling of liking someone who is ignorant of your feeling is so freaking hard. Terrible and miserable, in fact. I just hope he can tell me right away that i should give up. At that period of time, i just wish that he can push me away because i know i myself cannot do so willingly. When he tells me not to wait anymore, you cannot really imagine how i feel. Peculiarly, the sense of relief overwhelm the sadness.
Pushing me away at that instant, remove all the pain. Aiz.. Yul.. i really dont get it. Isnt it better for you, that she pushes you away. Why do you want to give yourself a false hope, a fake sense of security. Why dragging thing is better for some people? i really do not understand. By dragging thing, the individuals involved will only get more injured. A relationship is not supposed to be a burden to both party.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Angpau from grandma
Today, i went to my grandma's house with mum. I rarely followed my mum there as i was not that close to my grandma after i started the stage of adolescent. There was generation gap. I found it really hard to express my love and emotion for her after i had grown up.
I went there to talk and inform her about my plan to go for matriculation in perak. She was quite happy that i got it. I played with my aunts' daughter, elise and jolene to spend the time away. Afterward, i started to get bored and read twilight instead. After finished reading, i was so tired that i fall asleep on the long couch.
In my drowsiness, i could sense someone touching my hand. It was my grandma. She tried to slip an angpau into my hand without waking me up. However, i did awake. I thanked her tersely and went back to my nap.. Gee.. now when i flashed back, i kind of regret of rude manner. Sorry, grandma.. I was too sleepy.. Please forgave me.
When i went back home and had lunch, i was shocked to see there were 10 pieces of rm50. Oh my God, she gave me rm500. It was a chinese tradition for the elders to give the youngsters angpau as a sign of blessing when the kids wanted to be away from home, but.. wow.. this much she gave me. She was unemployed, she toiled days to days, sowing seeds and harvesting crops.. How could she be so kind, so selfless to gave me so much when she could barely have a good life.
Maybe she did loved me.. i felt so guilty for taking thing for granted.. Sorry, grandma.. i really did not know how to repay you. I sweared to you earnest and solemnly that i would work hard to strive for the best. i would become a great doctor one day. Trust me, i would not let you down. You would be one of the reasons for me to be a better person from now on. For you, i would never give up. I would take good care of myself and bring glory to our family. Thanks, grandma. Thanks for your blessing and undying love for me.
4.05pm
I went there to talk and inform her about my plan to go for matriculation in perak. She was quite happy that i got it. I played with my aunts' daughter, elise and jolene to spend the time away. Afterward, i started to get bored and read twilight instead. After finished reading, i was so tired that i fall asleep on the long couch.
In my drowsiness, i could sense someone touching my hand. It was my grandma. She tried to slip an angpau into my hand without waking me up. However, i did awake. I thanked her tersely and went back to my nap.. Gee.. now when i flashed back, i kind of regret of rude manner. Sorry, grandma.. I was too sleepy.. Please forgave me.
When i went back home and had lunch, i was shocked to see there were 10 pieces of rm50. Oh my God, she gave me rm500. It was a chinese tradition for the elders to give the youngsters angpau as a sign of blessing when the kids wanted to be away from home, but.. wow.. this much she gave me. She was unemployed, she toiled days to days, sowing seeds and harvesting crops.. How could she be so kind, so selfless to gave me so much when she could barely have a good life.
Maybe she did loved me.. i felt so guilty for taking thing for granted.. Sorry, grandma.. i really did not know how to repay you. I sweared to you earnest and solemnly that i would work hard to strive for the best. i would become a great doctor one day. Trust me, i would not let you down. You would be one of the reasons for me to be a better person from now on. For you, i would never give up. I would take good care of myself and bring glory to our family. Thanks, grandma. Thanks for your blessing and undying love for me.
4.05pm
Friday, April 17, 2009
Water festival~
After last night excitement of getting Matriculation Scholarship, i barely had a good night sleep. I was so thrilled that i could not fall asleep even though my eyes were squinted. I kept rolling on my comfortable and warm bedsheet but still my mind could not escape from the excitement. Eventually, i gave up on the idea of sleeping in my own room with my cat, milo..
Around 6am, i knocked on my parents' door.. My dad woke up and greeted me sleepily. Then, i snuggled into the blanket with my parents.. I tried to start a conversation with them in the dark room but apparently they had fallen asleep again. So, tediously i tried to shut my mind down.. Silently, i fall asleep..
My mum's cellphone rang. I forced open my tiring eyes and saw the caller ID.. it was my dad. i picked up the phone as my mum was showering in bathroom. My dad asked us to get prepared to go to grandpa house. He returned home a few minutes later. I took a brief shower with milo then packed another set of clothes to go there as we planned to play with water there. Our present clothes were bound to get soaking wet.
Around 2 pm, my cousin and cousin's children started splashing water at one another. some even use water gun to annoy the others. At first, me and my mum hid indoor, did not want to get wet. But then, thing started to go out of control. We were forced outside and they were splashing and pouring pails of water at us. Within seconds, we were soaking wet.. T.T
Then, the water war started. Water everywhere.. Some even use cold chilling ice to put into our shirt. The freezing sensation was so enjoyable.. I snatched my cousin's water gun and began to shoot water to my relatives. haha.. we had such a great time together. Then, we also bathed my grandpa with water with flowers. All in all, it was so fun handing out with relatives.
Then, we also had BBQ. I ate so much that i thought i would gain weight for at least 1 kg for sure.. Wu~ wu~
Afterward, we dried ourselves and changed to dry clothes. We went to the temple next to pray~ Hopefully gods bless us in everything~ and world peace^^
Around 6am, i knocked on my parents' door.. My dad woke up and greeted me sleepily. Then, i snuggled into the blanket with my parents.. I tried to start a conversation with them in the dark room but apparently they had fallen asleep again. So, tediously i tried to shut my mind down.. Silently, i fall asleep..
My mum's cellphone rang. I forced open my tiring eyes and saw the caller ID.. it was my dad. i picked up the phone as my mum was showering in bathroom. My dad asked us to get prepared to go to grandpa house. He returned home a few minutes later. I took a brief shower with milo then packed another set of clothes to go there as we planned to play with water there. Our present clothes were bound to get soaking wet.
Around 2 pm, my cousin and cousin's children started splashing water at one another. some even use water gun to annoy the others. At first, me and my mum hid indoor, did not want to get wet. But then, thing started to go out of control. We were forced outside and they were splashing and pouring pails of water at us. Within seconds, we were soaking wet.. T.T
Then, the water war started. Water everywhere.. Some even use cold chilling ice to put into our shirt. The freezing sensation was so enjoyable.. I snatched my cousin's water gun and began to shoot water to my relatives. haha.. we had such a great time together. Then, we also bathed my grandpa with water with flowers. All in all, it was so fun handing out with relatives.
Then, we also had BBQ. I ate so much that i thought i would gain weight for at least 1 kg for sure.. Wu~ wu~
Afterward, we dried ourselves and changed to dry clothes. We went to the temple next to pray~ Hopefully gods bless us in everything~ and world peace^^
Thursday, April 16, 2009
A tale from an online friend.
LSW~ he was known with his nickname.. i became friend with him when i was in form 2.. How i knew him? i knew him from internet, of course.. I never knew him in person face to face. But from our chattings in MSN for years, i knew he was a Malaysian who studied in USA for aircraft engineering. He had returned to Malaysia recently.
We had a small chat after i told him about my acceptance into pusat matrikulasi. He congratulated me.. When we chatted, he told me that he regretted for coming back to malaysia because in usa, the salary would be much lucrative.. then, i asked him, why did he come back to malaysia then. He answered, " well.. i missed home.." besides, there was a girl..
Wow, this was surely getting into the interesting part. There was romance involved.. He said the girl was his first love. When in USA, he always flied back to see her.. They were together for a few years. The girl was younger than him, might be older a year than me.. He came back for her but only to know that she had a different guy beside her. She had moved on to another guy. He became best friend with the girl but in the bottom of his heart, he still madly in love with her.. Sighh.. Such a pitiful bloke..
Dont know why but his tale really moved me.. Gosh.. This situation sounded so familiar.. I hoped jie would move on too.. I really did not the tale to repeat with the characters changed to me and him..
PS: Best wishes for LSW!! hope u can find the special girl for you soon~
We had a small chat after i told him about my acceptance into pusat matrikulasi. He congratulated me.. When we chatted, he told me that he regretted for coming back to malaysia because in usa, the salary would be much lucrative.. then, i asked him, why did he come back to malaysia then. He answered, " well.. i missed home.." besides, there was a girl..
Wow, this was surely getting into the interesting part. There was romance involved.. He said the girl was his first love. When in USA, he always flied back to see her.. They were together for a few years. The girl was younger than him, might be older a year than me.. He came back for her but only to know that she had a different guy beside her. She had moved on to another guy. He became best friend with the girl but in the bottom of his heart, he still madly in love with her.. Sighh.. Such a pitiful bloke..
Dont know why but his tale really moved me.. Gosh.. This situation sounded so familiar.. I hoped jie would move on too.. I really did not the tale to repeat with the characters changed to me and him..
PS: Best wishes for LSW!! hope u can find the special girl for you soon~
Semakan Matrikulasi~
Lian asked me in MSN when it was 12 am.. she asked me whether we could start checking for our status in matrikulasi scholarship(a government scholarship for SPM 2008 students). Then, we all started to check. After i keyed in my IC number, i waited impatiently for the result. I never really put much hope on it. I never considered to accept it even if i get it because i heard that the campus and the college syllabus was not that good. But, because the government sponsered a large amount of fees, i just applied it for fun..
"Click! Tahniah, anda ditawarkan ke program matrikulasi". Oh my God!! i got it! i got it!!! immediately, i yelled out loud!!! "Pa!!! i got it!! i got matrik!!!!" haha.. my loud voice startled my poor father who was sleeeping soundly in the middle of night. He woke up in shock, thought there was burglar or something.. haha.. i told him about matrik again. He was so happy and laughed out loud.. There was the sense of pride on his face. I was so happy to see him like that.. He woke my mum up and told her what happen. Then, my whole family discuss whether i should go or not.
This was really a great oppurtunity for me. After graduating from matrix , i could get government sponsorship to study medicine in public university if i got good grade. So, i decided!!! i would go!! i would go to register in Kolej Matrikulasi Perak at 11th may 2009!!!
PS~ rachel, weiny, lian, hui ting and woon also got matrix to the same place as me..
"Click! Tahniah, anda ditawarkan ke program matrikulasi". Oh my God!! i got it! i got it!!! immediately, i yelled out loud!!! "Pa!!! i got it!! i got matrik!!!!" haha.. my loud voice startled my poor father who was sleeeping soundly in the middle of night. He woke up in shock, thought there was burglar or something.. haha.. i told him about matrik again. He was so happy and laughed out loud.. There was the sense of pride on his face. I was so happy to see him like that.. He woke my mum up and told her what happen. Then, my whole family discuss whether i should go or not.
This was really a great oppurtunity for me. After graduating from matrix , i could get government sponsorship to study medicine in public university if i got good grade. So, i decided!!! i would go!! i would go to register in Kolej Matrikulasi Perak at 11th may 2009!!!
PS~ rachel, weiny, lian, hui ting and woon also got matrix to the same place as me..
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
A shocking fall
Just when we all plan to have dinner, my mum received a shocking call from my aunt.. my grandma fell when she climbed up a stool to pick the guavas from the tree.. Her head swollen and was rushed to USM. Immediately, we all rushed there too.
We waited about 35min in the green zone of emergency unit, worried sick about grandma's condition as she was taken to X-ray room. Afterward, we entered the yellow zone. There were beds everywhere. I saw my grandma lay on the hospital bed. She looked so weak and pale.. totally unlike her usual self - strong old lady who can sow and reap the vegetables by herself.
After the doctor examined the X-ray films, he said she was discharged because there was no bone craking. Her skull was okay. But then, there might be internal blood clotting. He said we had to take her back because the symptoms of internal bleeding would only appear after a few days. He asked us to take a good care of her.. Hopefully, she would not have internal bleeding..
Then, me and my dad took the presciption and headed to the pharmacy.. Embarassed to admit.. but we actually got lost in the journey to return to EU.. Gosh! USM was a trully huge hospital..
We waited about 35min in the green zone of emergency unit, worried sick about grandma's condition as she was taken to X-ray room. Afterward, we entered the yellow zone. There were beds everywhere. I saw my grandma lay on the hospital bed. She looked so weak and pale.. totally unlike her usual self - strong old lady who can sow and reap the vegetables by herself.
After the doctor examined the X-ray films, he said she was discharged because there was no bone craking. Her skull was okay. But then, there might be internal blood clotting. He said we had to take her back because the symptoms of internal bleeding would only appear after a few days. He asked us to take a good care of her.. Hopefully, she would not have internal bleeding..
Then, me and my dad took the presciption and headed to the pharmacy.. Embarassed to admit.. but we actually got lost in the journey to return to EU.. Gosh! USM was a trully huge hospital..
Jonas Brothers
This noon i just spent the whole day listening to Jonas Brothers' songs from the album "A Little Bit Longer".. It was kinda great and funky especially lovebug.. i watched the VU too.. then i decided to join the fan club in facebook. Apparently, they really have a lot of fans. more than 100000. haha.. mean my love for them is normal too. haha. There was a girl fan who left her number for joe to call or text her.. wow.. she was so brave.. haha.. a bit crazy. But, i could not stop from envying her.. i wished i have the courage to do so~
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Dougnuts maniac~
after cutting my hair, my family went to tesco.. gosh! we shop like maniac... buy 3 types of ice-cream.. i bought pistachio and almond flavour one.. hopefully, it would turn out to be delicious.. if not. wu~ wu~ waste my money money..
after shopping, just when we planned to walk out tesco, my dad's ex-student called him from the Big Apple Dougnut store.. she was the employee there, she asked my dad to buy some and promised to give employee's discount. So.. what else?
we bought a box of 6.. looked like i would have to struggle to lose weight again.. i got 2 chocolate, 2 moonrakers, 1 durian and 1 capuccino. i reallly would like to post up the the picture of the tasty dougnuts.. but... haha.. my stomach win over my camera, i guess.. By the way, there will be a promotion on the store tomorrow.. if we buy 6 dougnuts, we will gt 3 for free.. haha.. i guess i will go tesco again tomorrow.. gambateh, doughnuts^^
after shopping, just when we planned to walk out tesco, my dad's ex-student called him from the Big Apple Dougnut store.. she was the employee there, she asked my dad to buy some and promised to give employee's discount. So.. what else?
we bought a box of 6.. looked like i would have to struggle to lose weight again.. i got 2 chocolate, 2 moonrakers, 1 durian and 1 capuccino. i reallly would like to post up the the picture of the tasty dougnuts.. but... haha.. my stomach win over my camera, i guess.. By the way, there will be a promotion on the store tomorrow.. if we buy 6 dougnuts, we will gt 3 for free.. haha.. i guess i will go tesco again tomorrow.. gambateh, doughnuts^^
Monday, April 13, 2009
yawn~ boring n restless day..
hmm.. it is 3am when i decided it was the time for me to take a rest. However, just when i planned to shut down the computer.. the whole room turned black.. haha, "lucky me".. blackout!!! no electricity. Gosh.. with hot malaysia weather, the night was absolutely unbearable.. PS: i had to squeeze into my parents' bed. 3 people in a bed.. sure not very comfortable. But, what should i do?? haha.. i had to admit this.. i was afraid of dark.. The night was so uncomfortable that i thought i just wasted my time lying on the sleepless..
There was light again in the morning. Around 6 am, i immediately ran to my room with milo.. wow.. so great with the electricity available!! due to last night lack of rest, i slept until it was 1pm.. haha.. it is wonderful not to have to go to school.
In pet society, wayne did what he had promised, he really gave me an aircon, Gosh!! it costed 1000pawn points.. i wondered why he so nice.. then, he also gave me a cell phone and a fireplace.. at first, i thought of donating them. but then, they were gifts from a friend, i felt like it was wrong to do so.. haha.. never thought i would take pet society so seriously.. Honestly, a bit touched to know that there was a real santa claus in the real world!! Thanks, wayne~
PS: i managed to get jie ning joined pet society and facebook today^^
There was light again in the morning. Around 6 am, i immediately ran to my room with milo.. wow.. so great with the electricity available!! due to last night lack of rest, i slept until it was 1pm.. haha.. it is wonderful not to have to go to school.
In pet society, wayne did what he had promised, he really gave me an aircon, Gosh!! it costed 1000pawn points.. i wondered why he so nice.. then, he also gave me a cell phone and a fireplace.. at first, i thought of donating them. but then, they were gifts from a friend, i felt like it was wrong to do so.. haha.. never thought i would take pet society so seriously.. Honestly, a bit touched to know that there was a real santa claus in the real world!! Thanks, wayne~
PS: i managed to get jie ning joined pet society and facebook today^^
Sunday, April 12, 2009
aimst. deal or no deal??
today i just discuss with mum and dad about aimst.. look like it require a lot of money.. aiz.. worry if we cannot afford it.. they are thinking about lending loan from bank rakyat.. i feel a little sad.. i feel as if i have become my parents' burden.. sorry mum.. sorry dad.. i love you both..
By the way, just now chat with jie ning, she too. decides to go aimst. Aiz.. i guess it is a deal if i cannot get jpa.. but i really hope can get la.. however, it is jpa after all, such prestigious scolarship, the competition sure to be tough. I hope i am one of the ultimate survivor!! gambateh me!!!
By the way, just now chat with jie ning, she too. decides to go aimst. Aiz.. i guess it is a deal if i cannot get jpa.. but i really hope can get la.. however, it is jpa after all, such prestigious scolarship, the competition sure to be tough. I hope i am one of the ultimate survivor!! gambateh me!!!
my future??
Rachel, Lydia and Khing all want to study form6.. they all went to search for form 6 tuition. i talk to my dad about it. and he seems unhappy with the idea of form6. he tells me to be more confident with myself. he says as if he is sure that i will get jpa scholarship. By the ways he tells me if i failed jpa, he will send me to aimst university. it is s private college.. i m quite worry.. i really dont think my family is afford to send me to such private college. i guess no form 6 for me already..
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Argument..
Now is 3am.. i sit in front of the pc watching kyou kara maoh.. then jie msg me.. asking me whether i saw last night night sky, he said the moon so beautiful last night. I told him that it was raining last night that i doubt if there was the sight of moon at my residence area.
we started to talk about our lifestyle in past few months. he had been going out a lot with his friends to the beach(pcb) to have fun.. he mentioned about the waves grew stronger during midnight that they got out of their camp and went to play in the pool. The sole idea of playing in the chilling water in midnight startled me, honestly i think it is a rather stupid action. So, i commented, saying that i think that bachelors' lifestyle is so weird..
The next message i got was saying that my lifestyle was a misery.. Huh?? of course.. i was angry.. furious in fact. who was he to judge my lifestyle.. i dont think i m living a misery life. I spent my 4 months holiday online-ing and reading novels. How were those being defined as misery?? I honestly did not get it.. Man.. suddenly i hated this guy.. no wonder i broke up with him..
I told him ppl have different views on thing. he should get rid of his egocentric attitutide and should not judge others' lifestyle. instead, he told me that after years passed, i would be regret because i waste my time like that, reading books.. wasting my youth. Saying as if my life was totally a useless life.. i was so angry with his respond..
with rage controlling my action, i told him i was glad that we broke up. He was not the guy i wanted to be with. Then, he replied with almost the same content, saying that our break up was indeed a good choice because he is happier now.. Honestly, his tone is so so so annoying.. It is great that we both have a better life after the break up, really.. i dont understand.. why the guy that i once loved could become so so irritating.. does not respect my opinion at all.
at present.. there is only a song could describe my feeling..
YOU'RE NOT SORRY
All this time I was wasting,
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking
we'll be fine again,
But not this time around
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can say that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry,
Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of singers
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before
But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no, ohhh
You're not sorry no no ohhh
we started to talk about our lifestyle in past few months. he had been going out a lot with his friends to the beach(pcb) to have fun.. he mentioned about the waves grew stronger during midnight that they got out of their camp and went to play in the pool. The sole idea of playing in the chilling water in midnight startled me, honestly i think it is a rather stupid action. So, i commented, saying that i think that bachelors' lifestyle is so weird..
The next message i got was saying that my lifestyle was a misery.. Huh?? of course.. i was angry.. furious in fact. who was he to judge my lifestyle.. i dont think i m living a misery life. I spent my 4 months holiday online-ing and reading novels. How were those being defined as misery?? I honestly did not get it.. Man.. suddenly i hated this guy.. no wonder i broke up with him..
I told him ppl have different views on thing. he should get rid of his egocentric attitutide and should not judge others' lifestyle. instead, he told me that after years passed, i would be regret because i waste my time like that, reading books.. wasting my youth. Saying as if my life was totally a useless life.. i was so angry with his respond..
with rage controlling my action, i told him i was glad that we broke up. He was not the guy i wanted to be with. Then, he replied with almost the same content, saying that our break up was indeed a good choice because he is happier now.. Honestly, his tone is so so so annoying.. It is great that we both have a better life after the break up, really.. i dont understand.. why the guy that i once loved could become so so irritating.. does not respect my opinion at all.
at present.. there is only a song could describe my feeling..
YOU'RE NOT SORRY
All this time I was wasting,
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking
we'll be fine again,
But not this time around
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can say that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry,
Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of singers
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before
But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no, ohhh
You're not sorry no no ohhh
Friday, April 3, 2009
A trip to Ting's House
Today, i went to Tendong to visit my grandpa. They were cooking laksa or that sort of food. As usual, i had quite a hard time to fit in.. In boredom, i picked up my cell phone and called Ting to ask her about her JPA interview this morning. Then, we talked talked and talked.
After i told her that i am in my grandpa's house, she invited me to her house which is situated a block away. I was undecided at first, feeling shy to bother her and her family. But she insisted. Just when i asked my dad to send me there with motorcycle, she arrived with her old bicycle in front of grandpa's house. My cousin, Ko Fatt saw her and told me about her arrival. I greeted her and invited her in. But because my grandpa's house was crowded with cousins and relatives, she felt a bit shy to get in. I did understand how she felt. It was quite inappropriate to ask her to join a bunch of strangers.
So, we decided to go to her house. We walked there while having a small chat. There, she introduced me to her dad and mum. then, we went into her room and surfed the net about aimst university.. then, we went out to her living room to watch twilight..
Omg!! edward is so hot. Instantly, i became twilight fan. wE watched the show and chatting about it.. It was so damn fun. She also served me kikapo and fruit colek. After an hour or so, i was not really sure.. time seemed to pass so fast when we were spending our time together, her aunty came.. i started to feel a bit uncomfortable because i felt like i was disturbing their family reunion. By the way, from her aunt, i knew that Jiuan just get into UNITEM.. So jealous.. she could further her tertiary study so fast.
After twilight ended, i called my dad to fetch me as it was raining. It was practically impossible for me to walk back. Before i went back, she lent me a few DVDs: twilight, the reader and the bed time stories. Omg, she was so nice.. i always love her..
This trip to her house was so fun.. i hope i did not disturb her though.. hopefully, can go her house to play again^^
PS: malaysia time, 3/4/09, 10.38pm
After i told her that i am in my grandpa's house, she invited me to her house which is situated a block away. I was undecided at first, feeling shy to bother her and her family. But she insisted. Just when i asked my dad to send me there with motorcycle, she arrived with her old bicycle in front of grandpa's house. My cousin, Ko Fatt saw her and told me about her arrival. I greeted her and invited her in. But because my grandpa's house was crowded with cousins and relatives, she felt a bit shy to get in. I did understand how she felt. It was quite inappropriate to ask her to join a bunch of strangers.
So, we decided to go to her house. We walked there while having a small chat. There, she introduced me to her dad and mum. then, we went into her room and surfed the net about aimst university.. then, we went out to her living room to watch twilight..
Omg!! edward is so hot. Instantly, i became twilight fan. wE watched the show and chatting about it.. It was so damn fun. She also served me kikapo and fruit colek. After an hour or so, i was not really sure.. time seemed to pass so fast when we were spending our time together, her aunty came.. i started to feel a bit uncomfortable because i felt like i was disturbing their family reunion. By the way, from her aunt, i knew that Jiuan just get into UNITEM.. So jealous.. she could further her tertiary study so fast.
After twilight ended, i called my dad to fetch me as it was raining. It was practically impossible for me to walk back. Before i went back, she lent me a few DVDs: twilight, the reader and the bed time stories. Omg, she was so nice.. i always love her..
This trip to her house was so fun.. i hope i did not disturb her though.. hopefully, can go her house to play again^^
PS: malaysia time, 3/4/09, 10.38pm
Thursday, April 2, 2009
JPA Interview
My interview is supposed to start at 2pm.. As i am concerned about the traffic jam, i arrived politek kota bharu, kok lanas an hour earlier. When i arrived, i could see my friends, Khing, Rachel and YS there already.. Looking at their calm faces made me felt more nervous.
I signed my name to register. Then, i used to excess time to chat with them to calm myself down. I was assigned to room 1 while my friends all were in different rooms. As my name was on the number 5, i was among the 1st group to enter the ineterview room.
Before we enter the room, we were required to hand in our files and were given number. We were asked to sit according to our numbers. Around 5 min later, we were invited to enter the room. In the room, there were 3 panels. 2 males and a female.They were very nice.
1st, we were asked to speak about ourselves in BM.. then, they asked us several questions and we were required to speak in English. The questions that were asked are: "why do we prefer to go study overseas when malaysia has the same medical standard?", "who is our favourite leader?", "what is the most important quality needed in a leader' and the last is " is facebook and frienster a must for teenagers nowadays?"
The interview was conducted about an hour. Then we had to hand in the borang pendapatan keluarga and borang penyertaan program kerjaya seorang doktor. All in all, everything run quite smooth today. Hopefully i will get the JPA scholarship.
malaysia: 2nd of april 2009, 10.52pm
I signed my name to register. Then, i used to excess time to chat with them to calm myself down. I was assigned to room 1 while my friends all were in different rooms. As my name was on the number 5, i was among the 1st group to enter the ineterview room.
Before we enter the room, we were required to hand in our files and were given number. We were asked to sit according to our numbers. Around 5 min later, we were invited to enter the room. In the room, there were 3 panels. 2 males and a female.They were very nice.
1st, we were asked to speak about ourselves in BM.. then, they asked us several questions and we were required to speak in English. The questions that were asked are: "why do we prefer to go study overseas when malaysia has the same medical standard?", "who is our favourite leader?", "what is the most important quality needed in a leader' and the last is " is facebook and frienster a must for teenagers nowadays?"
The interview was conducted about an hour. Then we had to hand in the borang pendapatan keluarga and borang penyertaan program kerjaya seorang doktor. All in all, everything run quite smooth today. Hopefully i will get the JPA scholarship.
malaysia: 2nd of april 2009, 10.52pm
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
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