young-adulthood

When i was so preoccupied with pet society, steven's nudge on msn startled me. He asked me whether i had finished my preparation for the upcoming journey to perak matriculation college. I was a bit uncomfortable with the question because the truth was i had not. I did not pack even a single thing. My parents bought almost all the things that i should bring there. But.. i was not in the mood for packing at all. The fact was that, i was afraid to pack..

Because i knew when i was packing i would feel the sadness and the unwillingness to be apart from my dearest family. I did not want to face the reality yet. I was not ready to experience to tough responsibilty of the young adult yet. i still wanted to dwell in my sweet dream of being a mama's kid. I wanted to be fended and protected. The shield that my parents provided all this tine was undescribably divine. It was a gift from the heaven, god had loved me so much to granted me such wondeful parents. But somehow, i knew.. ready or not, I must be strong, i had to learn to be more independant, matured and like what steven said, "grow up!"

A chat with him made me realised that the reality of me going away hurted my parents more than it agonized me. They had been so used to love me unconditionally. They had been helping me all this times, nursing me and doing everything that i had taken for granted. They provided me mental, emotional as well as physical security. I had been their priority for all the time. They must be worried sick that i might not be able to take care of myself. So, if i trully love them, i should not behave in such childish way. In the mere 5 minutes conversation, i found the true meaning of maturity.

Instead of lingering in my own little girl's fairy tale, i should be able to let go. I should embrace the fact that i am growing up. I would have to be a young adult who leave my family for their sake. If i refused to accept the fact that i was on the way to adulthood, i knew it would be harder for my parents. No daddy wanted to see his daughter became a woman and no mummy wanted to see her daughter moved out. But, they helped me bought all the necessity and fill the document. They had done all the thing for my future even though it would certainly hurt them to see me separated from them. So, as a young adult, what should i do?

All this time, they raised me to become a better human that could serve the society so that was exactly what i was going to do. I would grow up. I would wipe all these childish tears of reluctance away. I would be strong. I would start packing my stuff and depart to the challenging path of adulthood. Now, i understood all already. When i looked into the mirror, i would no longer see the vulnerable and fragile wei nie. Now, i would see a young and beautiful wei nie who could face every hardship in life with unwavered confidence.

Thanks, mum.. thanks, dad.. for making me what i am today.

And thanks, steven! for your inspiring advices.